


December

by orphan_account



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: Alien Sex, Consentacles, F/M, First Time, Tentacles, some good old middle-aged healthy relationship sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:15:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It was snowing, the white of the everything blending into the white of the everything else. Greasy street lamps dripped silently in the void, the light they cast sliding down the buildings, pooling across the streets.In the dark, Winter tightened its grasp the city.And yet, from his position against the frame, though Krupp could feel the cold coming through the windowpane with its thin grasping fingers, he still felt very much untouched.It was nice.---(Also can be summarized as Edith and Krupp try to watch The Charlie Brown Christmas Special and 'stuff happens')





	December

**Author's Note:**

> eeeeey  
> big shout out to those who read this over for me- no names listed. just wish to protect the innocent (including myself)

It was snowing, the white of the everything blending into the white of the everything else. Greasy street lamps dripped silently in the void, the light they cast sliding down the buildings, pooling across the streets.

In the dark, Winter tightened its grasp the city.

And yet, from his position against the frame, though Krupp could feel the cold coming through the windowpane with its thin grasping fingers, he still felt very much untouched.

It was nice.

He sipped his coffee before tugging lightly at the collar of his sweater. Behind him, he heard Edith sigh.

“You can take that off, I’ve got the thermostat set at 75.”

“Nah,” he muttered, sipping again.

“It’s so gross though.”

“So what?”

“My stitching is loads better now.”

“And?”

She huffed, cursing quietly before continuing, “You know you’re getting a new one anyway. You picked out the yarn.”

“But this was your first.”

“Yeah, and it’s the worst one.”

“It’s the principle of the thing” he finally turned to look at her, tugging at a cuff that had caught on the buttons of the dress shirt beneath. She looked up to glare at him from the tangle that currently occupied most of her, tentacles aimlessly curling in and out of yarn as she so desperately tried to organize it into something resembling a sleeve.

“That was horrible. You are horrible. No puns.”

“No puns? No puns from the queen of puns herself? Jeeze,” he grinned as he tapped the window behind him with his mug, “Must be a cold day in hell.”  

“Oh my god, Ben.”

“Give yourself  a bit of credit. You don’t even have thumbs.”

“I don’t need thumbs to knit.”

He shrugged, moving to the kitchen and pouring himself another cup, “Fingers, then.”

“I don’t need fingers to knit either, I can do it just fine.”

“I know you can, I’m just saying. Do you want some more coffee?”

“I can get it later.”

Leaning against the countertop, he let the conversation die as he watched Edith finesse stitches with surgical precision. Eyes narrowed and lips pressed tightly together, she worked as long as she could before having to stop and untangle herself again. He couldn’t guess how many times he had wound up the excess yarn for her, only to turn around and find it halfway undone again. It was impossible to tell her, Krupp though drinking quietly, how funny it was to watch her focus, because it never failed that if half of her was intent on a task, the rest would aim to wander.

And wander those legs of hers did, perpetually.

Tentacles? He still called them legs, even after a year of knowing they weren’t really legs. They were below her hips, right? It sort of counted.

Maybe.

She never got mad at him for calling them that, anyway.

He took another drink, hiding his smile as he watched one loop itself around the yarn feeding directly into her slowly moving needles, halting the whole process once more as Edith hissed through her teeth and untangled it.  

“You need a break?”

“I-no. I’ve got this.”

“You’ve been at it since we got here.”

“Yeah?”

“…Edith, it’s been four hours.”

Her head snapped up at that, a look of horror etched into her face, and he quickly added, “I set the VCR up to record it, don’t worry.”

“I wanted to watch it with you though,” she whined, desperately attempting to free herself from the clutches of her project.

“It’s fine, it’s on tape. We can watch it whenever,” he said as he put his mug down before moving to kneel and address the tangles she had gotten herself knotted in.

“That’s not the point.”

“Edith, it’s the same every year.”

“I know but-” she looked up at the clock above the door, “shoot, it’s already started.”

“It’s only a couple minutes in.”

“Right. Right right right,” fumbling for a moment, she set the sleeve down and stretched for the remote. Krupp heard a click, a hum, and then, “Oh thank goodness, we didn’t miss too much.”

He felt her relax, and looking up, watched a smile finally make its way up her face before she turned her attentions back to the task at hand, only to stop short and about a hand's width from his face, “What?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, fighting a smile as he looked back down at the knot in his hands, “You’re just funny.”

“What do you mean? Ack- oh just leave it. Come on, get up here.”

Dropping the ball of yarn, Krupp stood as Edith scootched to the side, making room for him to sit next to her as on screen Charlie Brown voiced his concerns to the blanket kid while they walked through a heavily snowed suburbia. He could feel her relax next to him once he settled down, could feel her sink into the cushions next to him, and it was impossible to stop the pleasant curling in his chest.

She was an alien, he was Jewish, they were both tangled in yarn, but fuck all, that wasn’t going to keep them from watching the Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

It was disgustingly domestic, kept only from being perfect by the sad little bald kid on the screen.

Krupp hated Charlie Brown.

He’d long since given up avoiding the cartoon nihilist though, because Edith, with her little snoopy mug and her little cutouts of the sunday comics she’d hang up on the fridge, loved the Peanuts. She was the one that started this ages ago, turning on the Thanksgiving special one year and just not- well, not that she didn’t let him leave, but...well okay no she wasn’t going to let him leave. The whole apartment smelled like her sweet potato pie, and there was tea set to steep in that old blue cornflower corningware she loved, and the way she had patted the open seat next to her on the couch while looking up at him just as he was about to head for the door...  

(The way all her kisses tasted like pumpkin spice and cranberry chapstick after the credits had started rolling.)

It kinda just became their thing.

Krupp felt Edith wrap an arm around him as Charlie Brown went to go talk to the mean girl offering life advice for five cents.

“That’s so you,” she chuckled.

“Excuse me?”

“The way he complains, that’s how you sound, but less calm.”

He turned to her her, affronted, “No I don’t.”

“Oh my god Ben, yes, you do.”

“Name one time- one time I’ve done that.”

“Uh, every time you talk about George and Harold, every time you get off the phone with a parent-”

“Hey now-”

“Every time you ruin another set of curtains-”

“Listen-”

“Every time you find another dent in your car-”

“Alright, alright, I get it, okay.”

Edith laughed at that, squeezing his shoulder gently as she turned her attentions back to the movie. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and took in her soft smile, the crinkles it put around her eyes, the way she slouched into the squashy cushions, arm still dangling around his shoulder as the end curled and uncurled at his collar.

Funny how times change. This used to send his blood pressure skyrocketing and now, now it just felt natural.

Even the tugging around his ankle, the gentle winding and unwinding, he didn’t even have to look anymore in order to know what was happening. Funny, how easy it was to accept certain things after you’ve had time to grow used to them. He didn’t even blink as he felt the tip of her leg dig gently into his sock. Heck, the fact that she was an alien didn’t really make him bat an eye anymore. Edith was just Edith, he simply knew her better now.

All the same, he couldn’t help but shift a little bit as it started to work higher up his leg.

And higher.

And a second joined in.

By the time the kids were doing their infamous dance number on the television, he had a firm grip on the armrest because jeeze laweez they were rambunctious. Without moving head he turned his eyes down to watch them curling and twisting around his calf, tickling the corners of his knee. They tugged lightly at his pants almost accidentally, almost absent mindedly, and again, that normalcy made this seem so much more status quo then it would have been two years ago. However, that didn’t make it any easier when he watched wide eyed as the one finally crested his knee and started to move up his thigh.   

Should he say something?

Krupp cast a quick look over and saw no, no Edith had no idea what was going on. With rapt attention she watched the brats on screen dancing, one hand over her mouth to cover her smile, and he swallowed his words.

It would be fine, he guessed, had they gone through something like this before. If the two of them- and here he found his face growing hot- if the two of them were lovers, well- well he supposed this would be a walk in the park, wouldn’t it. This would be normal. He had never asked though, and she had never offered, and now, he reasoned as the small dirty kid played the cello, as Snoopy played the electric guitar, now would be...the absolute worst time to ask.

Funny, how it wasn’t the the tentacles that was weird in this situation, no, it was the fact he had never asked… but that was a challenge for another time. It always had been a challenge for another time. One talk on the birds and the bees had been hell enough as a kid, he didn’t need another at forty.

It would be fine. Those wandering legs of hers would get bored. They’d go back, he was sure of it. There was no need to make a big deal out of it.

But it didn’t go away.

It didn’t go away, and by the time Charlie Brown was picking up the dinky tree for the performance, it had gotten remarkably worse.

An exact half of her was currently plucking at his clothes, tucking up his pant legs, and one, one cheeky son of a bitch, sat squarely in the middle of his lap. The tentacle curled and uncurled, lazy and slow, flicking idly at the button of his pants as the others encircled his knee and weaseled around his ankle. With clenched thighs and gritted teeth he desperately tried to ignore the heat welling in his gut as he wracked his brain for a way he could gently point out what was happening without upsetting her, for she would be upset, he knew it, oh he knew. Maybe he could just stand up and ask her if she wanted more coffee, or- or just say he had to go to the bathroom. She’d come back to herself and those wandering legs would pull back. Something, anything, to get him out of this predicament would be good, but just as he was shifting to get up-

Krupp saw stars as the tentacle that had just until then occupied his lap uncurled to explore the new territory open to it between his thighs. He bit down on his cheek, measuring the breaths through his nose as he felt it move slowly between his legs, poking into corners and running up and down the tight juncture between his leg and his hip.

This was a very special kind of hell.

He felt entirely too hot for his skin as he sat there, trying to keep composure with Edith’s arm still wrapped around him, with half of her currently trying to get in and under and around his pants. Jesus, it was impossible to say how often he had dreamed of something like this, waking in the middle of the night sweating and spent and shaking. The amount of times he had imagined scenarios, let his mind drift between sheets and between lips and everything else- well he was no saint. Sitting there though, half hard already, with that fucking blanket kid talking about the meaning of Christmas and her absolutely none the wiser, all he wanted was for this to stop. He just needed to figure out how before it got way too out of -

He felt the thing ghost over the zipper of his pants and froze.

It did it again.

Again.

Slowly, his jaw came unhinged, small pants tumbling over his lips, giving him just enough oxygen to keep his poor heart going as it threatened to burst out of his chest while between his legs she was quickly and unwittingly driving him to madness. Thighs twitching, his mind slowly unwound itself like that ball of yarn, strung out across her and around, and around.

But this was neither the time nor the place. This was- this was so many different variations of horribly wrong. She didn’t know- Shit, she didn’t even know. They were still tangled in the yarn she had asked him to pick out for his sweater for christ sake, watching the Charlie Brown Christmas Special and this was- this was so far into fucked up, what was happening in his brain right now, in his pants right now, he needed to tell her to stop- he needed-

The tentacle gave a vicious twist, and he was done.

Her name came out little more than a breathless whine, and he he could practically pinpoint the moment where the entire atmosphere changed two seconds before she shrieked, ripping herself away.

“How long was I doing that!”

Krupp cringed, throat working as he tried to explain, but she was already up, backing away down the hall, “I’m so sorry, oh my god I’m so sorry.”

“It’s-” he swallowed, resting his face in his hands as he willed himself to breathe, “It’s fine-”

“It’s not fine! That was not fine!” He could hear her shuffling back and forth across the carpet, a low note rolling in the back of her throat with distress before her voice went shrill again, “I didn’t know I was- why didn’t you say something?”

He stumbled over himself, useless noises tumbling from his mouth as he pressed his palms into his temples, “I just- augh-I- Edith-”

He bit his lip, willing himself to breathe, and the conversation fell apart.  The tinny sound of children singing emanated from the television, filling the space between them until he heard Edith shuffle back over to the couch and shut it off. After that, there was nothing but silence.

Silence.

“...Ben-”

He stood, not making eye contact, “I- I need to go.”

“No it’s-”

“Nope,” he bolted for the door, “This is- I just-” hand outstretched for his coat that hung on the rack by the door, he was maybe about two steps from making it when he was just about lifted off his feet and slammed into the wall. Breathless, head spinning, he blinked and found himself face to face with the full wide-eyed stare of Edith.

She said nothing, but the way she looked at him could have very well pinned him to that wall without the help of her arms which held his own hands on either side of his head. It was a good thing she had him though. Legs shaking, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to stand on his own. He could feel her breath on his skin with how close she was, could feel her pulse in her hands as they clenched tighter around his wrists.

When he licked his dry lips, trying to think of what to say, her eyes flickered down to track the movement, and he shivered.

“...I really am...sorry,” she mumbled, eyes still locked on his mouth, “Should have been more aware.”

He gave a breathless chuckle, but didn’t trust himself enough to speak. Her eyes slowly came back up to his, and he was a little more than terrified by how dark her eyes were, how wide and black the pupils had grown. As still as she appeared to be, he could feel her creeping slowly up his legs, loose ringlets of her gripping and tugging and plucking.

“Ben?”

He didn’t recognize the noise he made; too high pitched, too broken.

“Do you want me, or is this an accident?”

“W-hat?”

Edith looked up, breathing hard through her teeth before turning back to him, “Do you want me or is this just some biological mistake?”

His head was swimming, spinning from too many hard turns in this conversation and the lack of blood flow to his brain, “Why would I not?”

“You never noticed before,” A ripple went through her, like a wave, and Krupp could feel it shake her hands, “You never even tried before. It’s only now-”

“Wait wait wait,” he shook his head, tried to move, but she slid his arms further up the wall and held him firm, “Wah-what b-before? When?”

That low rolling pitch sounded in her throat again, “So many times I can’t even count them. So many times I wanted- it felt right, and I tried to- and you just pulled back.”

Words. There were words he needed to say, but all he could do is stare at her helplessly as he spluttered in surprise because holy everloving shit she wanted to have sex with him.

She wanted to have sex with him _for a while_.

And he had been too thick to notice.

Cock twitching, he felt the slick heat grow hotter still.

“Is now a good time?” he squeaked.

Edith gave a hard laugh, “I don’t know, are you paying attention now?”

“Yes, very-very much- yes.”

Her face softened then, and he watched her bite her lip and attempt to stem the trickle of titters that made their way out. He wanted to kiss her, desperately wanted to kiss her, catch her laugh in his mouth and make it his. Even as he leaned forward to do so, though, there was no hope for it. For a moment the distance held, faces not even a hand's width apart, breath mingling in the hot air between.

Then, she pulled back.

It felt like every atom of him screamed, especially as one of Edith’s legs ran a hot strip straight across his pelvis while the other began worming its way under his sweater. It kept running back and forth up the length of him until it finally curled over his heart which was probably going to go into palpitations soon if he didn’t get his hands on her that was all he wanted to do god he just wanted to hold her! Krupp strained against her grip, tried to bring his hands back down from their position above his head, but she held firm, shaking her head with a smile, letting another limb slowly untuck his shirt. The contact of her against the soft skin of his underbelly sent him into a fit of high pitched giggles, hips jerking of their own accord just as another joined the ranks, working up his chest to lazily flick at his collarbone, to ghost along the contour of his neck.

His skin felt too tight. His pants felt too tight. The whole of him was going to catch fire, he could have sworn on it.

“Edith,” Krupp’s voice cracked around her name, and he swallowed, “Please.”  

“Please what?”

Oh, so she was trying to kill him.

He huffed, hips jerking forward with a hiss as she dipped the tip of another limb underneath the waistband of his pants, “I want- I wha-” the rest was lost in a moan as Edith gave a vicious twist of the curl near his neck, running up the length to rest under his chin, forcing his head up to look at her.

“I want you too,” she murmured, lips a hair's breadth out of reach, “but I don’t want to mate. You need to calm down.”

Face twisting, brow furrowed, his brain tried to catch up with her words but it wasn’t clicking. Unable to so much as think straight, all he could give was a questioning noise which turned into a silent scream as he felt her press herself against his trapped erection.

“You need to put that away.”

Krupp gave a dry sob, gasping, trying to chase the sensation as she pulled away. Think- he had to think- he had to put words together and fast, “I’m not- it’s not- that’s normal.”

Edith looked so clinical, so concerned, with her eyes narrowed and her head cocked that way. It was horribly endearing, “I thought that was for procreation only.”

“No! Both! Both both both Edith _please-!_ ”

“So...I can touch it?”

“Yes!” he hissed,“That’s the idea!”

The dawning look of understanding, the little ‘oh’ shape her mouth took, sent him into a fit of laughter, which she caught. Leaning into him, her head alongside his, he could feel her smile next to his ear, feel her chest move with every breath, and turning quickly, he planted a kiss on her cheek, “This is- we are-a mess.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled softly, “I hope there’s a learning curve to this.”

“Hmm.”

“I shouldn’t have trusted the internet.”

“Where-where were you even looking?”  

“Um,” she shifted, the accidental friction causing him to hiss through his teeth as she continued, “There’s this website I found called Pornhub and- You are right in my ear!”

But there was no way Krupp was going to be able to stop laughing anytime soon. Even when Edith smacked him lightly, the ugly cackles just kept rolling out of him until he finally managed to wheeze, “Whyyy were you on there?”

“I was just curious!”

“You could have asked me.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to! Maybe I thought I could figure it out on my own!”

“There are textbooks, you know.”

“Human textbooks. Made by humans. For humans. Too much latin and medical jargon, and it was all about reproduction so I thought-...”

He grinned, “So you thought?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Oh no, oh nonono, tell me what you thought.”

Edith sighed, “I thought...I thought that human genitalia was only used for the express purposes of...continuing the species.”

Krupp laughed again until a thought suddenly clicked, “Wait, how do you guys do it?”

“Hm?”

“How- how does your species-?”

“We do it as a clan,” she sighed, “And no it’s not what you’re thinking. We all get together and create a spawning pool. It’s not- well, it’s not like you guys do it. The whole thing’s very technical. Not exceptionally sexy.”

He blinked slowly, choosing his words very carefully, “Takes a village to raise a child.”

“Basically.”

“...What am I supposed to do then?”

“Hm?” she pulled back to look at him.

“What am I supposed to do...to make you feel- to make- um-”

She giggled at his helplessness, “You want to make me happy, Benny?” she whispered low and dangerous,“You want to turn me on?”

And once again, it all came back to this.

“P-Please.”

She grinned, all teeth and snark, “Touch me.”

“Oh come on,” he groused, trying to pull his hands from her grip, but she held firm, “I know that much, but-.”

“No, Ben, I mean...that’s how it works,” she mumbled, and Krupp froze as she pulled the tentacle out from under his shirt to run it up the side of her throat, “My neck,” it curled across her collarbone, then down “My chest,” across her torso to curl and stretch, “I- I like-” she hesitated for a moment, face flushed, before digging the tip into the juncture between two of her other legs, pressing in, and he felt her shudder in satisfaction.

Yeah no, she really was trying to kill him.

“Let me.”

“Not yet.”

“But-!”

“Not yet!” she laughed, even as her limbs rolled over on themselves, even as he could see in her face she wanted to continue her ministrations, “I want to get a good look at you first.”

“You’ve seen me. You’ve got your look.”

“Not all of you,” it came out as a whisper as he felt one tentacle work it’s way up his leg and begine to pluck at the button of his pants, “Not now that I know there’s more I can play with.”

His fate was sealed as soon as the button came undone. Before he could even open his mouth to reply his thoughts were cut to the bone by the way she wrapped herself around cock, smearing his precum down the full length of him as she took him in soft coils, and he keened as he felt the heat of her envelop him, hips snapping forward of their own accord because yes, yes that was what he wanted, yes, only to give a soft wail as she pulled away to tug his pants and underwear down to his knees. He stood there, shaking, rumpled and aroused as she looked him up and down, lips twitching into a smile. Very slowly, she slid his his hands down the wall, bring them to rest on either side of his hips as she herself crouched lower.

Krupp stopped breathing.

She wasn’t.

There was no way.

There was absolutely no way she was going to-  

He didn’t even know what kind of noise he made as she gently kissed the base of him, tongue darting out to lick just enough- just enough to send him into a complete tailspin. His footing slipped, one knee collapsing beneath him as he fumbled to maintain upright while she continued to gently mouth along his length, kissing the head lightly. Krupp could feel her writhing around him, curling in and over herself, slithering up his legs and feeling like a small flurry of caresses everywhere while she kissed the underside of the head, giving another hot flick of her tongue to lap at a bead of precum, only to pull back for a moment, face scrunched.

“Ew,” she mumbled, smacking her lips.

He snorted, shaking with contained laughter even as his dick seemed to scream with the lack of contact. Edith hit him lightly on the thigh.

“You could have warned me.”

“Sorry. Didn’t- didn’t think about it.”

“Yeah well, know for next time,” she mumbled, smirking at him as she drug her lips languishing down the other side of him before mouthing kisses into his soft underbelly.

Krupp twitched as she kissed his navel, moaned as she licked a hot stripe just below his ribs, saw stars as she nibbled and nipped her way up his chest before latching onto his neck to suck and to bite and and god she had to know what was going to happen. That was going to leave a mark, several marks, all of them hers, and when it suddenly clicked that she very well knew that, the thought drove him to pieces.  

She wanted those marks there. She wanted him to remember this.

She wanted him.

The thought alone made him giddy, and he couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly as she kissed the soft skin under his jaw.

She wanted him.

And he wanted her, wanted to pull her face to his and kiss her until she couldn’t stand the idea of breathing. He wanted to hold her so close and so tightly, put his mouth on every curve of her, run his hands over every single one of those places she showed him would please her. He wanted to embed the texture of her skin into his brain, hear her voice break around his name as she moaned it, release and watch her reach the pinnacle of ecstasy.

He wanted her, god, he wanted her, and in the middle of her ministrations as her kisses traveled up his torso to his chest, he felt her grip weaken and went for it.

Krupp’s mouth was on hers before they even hit the carpet, one hand behind her head and one tucked squarely in the juncture between two tentacles as he kissed her, open mouthed and with her name on his lips. Edith wrapped around him, helping him to kick off his shoes and fight his way out of his pants. As he pulled her close, he dragged the hand that had been behind her head down her neck and across her chest just as she had shown him and was rewarded by a content purr that seemed to rumble through her and into him, seemed to shake him to his very foundation and so he did it again, all way while trying to figure out what the hell it was he was suppose to do with the hand that was effectively between her equivalent of thighs.

His skin felt too hot, everything felt too hot, and there was too much fabric between them because they should have been skin to skin and anything else at this point registered in his brain as a travesty. He pulled the hand at her throat down to tackle tackle the buttons of her dress, trying to work out how to tell her just how beautiful she was, how stunning, but his hands shook too much to do anything useful and all the words came out in an unintelligible splutter.

She laughed though, oh she laughed, and lifted herself to kiss him as she helped him work his arms out of the confines of his dress shirt and sweater.

When it finally made it over his head, he had but a second to breath before the air was snatched from his lungs.

She lay sprawled beneath him, eyes dark and mouth bent in a lazy smile. One arm was above her head while the other curled about his waist, and between the two, he found himself stunned into silence.

Edith giggled, “What?”

But he couldn’t get the words out, and there were so many words he wanted to say, so many things he wished he could tell her but didn’t  know how, so when he kissed her, it was slow and gentle and he hoped, he hoped, he hoped she understood.

When she hummed, smile curling the ends of the kiss, he took it as a good sign.

Krupp’s hands still shook as he tried to manage the buttons, but eventually, they came undone. Pushing aside the two halfs of fabric, he laid his hands flat against her skin and ran them down the length of her, letting his fingers sink into her, admiring the freckles and the moles and the sunspots. He relished in the feeling of rolling muscle beneath and how it bent towards his touch, how she arched her back and sighed as her head lolled and he hoped above all else that he was doing this right. To say all of this was foreign was an understatement. Everything was so terrifyingly new and strange and not what he expected and it’s then it dawned upon him that he had no actual idea what he was doing or if he was doing it well, and yet here she was. Here, in front of him, she was here. She trusted him. If he did something wrong, she’d let him know.

She wanted him.

He caught her neck between his hand and his mouth, kissing the length of it while his fingertips drifted back and forth, earning him a low moan. Krupp’s skin prickled as he felt the muscles of her throat move as she swallowed, as she spoke his name softly. All the while, he ground his hips against hers, shaking, pace painfully slow. His other hand slipped into the juncture of two of her legs. Twisting his wrist, he slowly began working his fingers into a coaxing gesture, digging the palm of his hand into the soft skin there, and when she jumped, breath caught between her teeth, clutching at him, he took it as a sign he must be doing something right.

Krupp hoped she was close. He didn’t want to give out on her, desperately didn’t want to fail. With gritted teeth he sat back, nestling himself between her legs before blindly shoving his hands between. He watched Edith’s face, praying he was doing this right as they ghosted across the undersides of her tentacles, fingers brushing along the line where the limbs met her body as his palms ran flat down and around the skin he could not see.

On either side of him her limbs flailed, curling and twisting as they groped every open inch of skin on him. They pulled almost violently, dragging him closer until his arms were bent at an awkward angle just so he could keep going, because he wanted to keep going. Every time he moved and she gave an extra coo, a broken moan, he remembered. Every time she seemed to choke on her breath because of where he slid his hands, he kept in mind. His fingers cramped and his wrists started to hurt but you couldn’t have convinced him to stop.

The way she kept saying his name, the way she arched off the floor, the way he could feel her shaking even as she curled around him, he felt like he was in the middle of some divine storm of skin. He wanted to keep her rolling and thrashing, looking like the underside of heaven during a hurricane.

He was never very poetic, but damn if this whole thing wasn’t awe inspiring.

The noise she made was something he had never heard before, high and reverberating, and with her arms above her head, face twisted into an ugly look of ecstasy, Krupp took it as victory.

Gently, the chaos seemed to calm. Her limbs settled in looping knots, and Krupp could see her chest rattle every time she breathed, a soft, almost cooing noise, escaping her as she came back to herself. Eyes fluttering open, she gave a lackadaisy smile, a quiet giggle bubbling from her mouth.

“Not bad,” she mumbled, one coil lifting to run across his back, “Not bad at all for a first time.”

Krupp swallowed as his heart skipped beats in his chest, “Give me a break. Practice makes perfect, right?”

“You saying you’d like to do this again?”

“Love to. I mean- well I-”

She chuckled again, sitting up slowly to kiss him. His hands came up to cup her face as her own arms wrapped around him. Kisses soft and leisurely passed between hot breath and gentle smiles, but he could feel his arousal still pulsing almost painfully between them. Pulling one hand away, he slid it down one twitching thigh before gripping himself, swiping the ridge of his head with a calloused thumb. Even as he relished in the softness of the moment, he could feel himself cracking around the edges, pulling her closer. Everything felt electric, felt like the air itself was held to his skin by static cling. The small noise she made as he tugged her bottom lip made him quake and he pumped harder, needy whine coiling at the back of his throat as he crushed her lips against his and begged his own hand to just hurry the fuck up with this because he needed it- he needed-

Edith’s lips unglued from his with a small pop which sent tingles down his spine, followed by a small, “Oh.”

Krupp blinked, face flushing so hard it made his lips sting as he realized she was watching him, staring down his twitching dick with a look almost like hunger.

“No,” she whispered, resting her forehead to his, “Don’t. Keep going.” One arm pressed against his shoulder while the other wrapped around him, drawing him close. He licked his lips, shivering as he adjusted his grip and tried to measure his breaths through his teeth. Self-consciousness licked at the edges of his brain, but between the comforting touch of her and the near agony of arousal, it had no room.

He felt her shift to kiss his cheek, and with a moan, he started up again, clenching his teeth as he tugged at himself. Running his thumb down the slit and across the head, he couldn’t help but grin as he listed to Edith’s soft sound of piqued interest. With every pull though, he grew more frantic, with every twist of an upstroke, more needy. The heat coiling in him felt slick and alive like some great hungry thing. He wanted release. He wanted satisfaction. He was tired of waiting. Watching her curl in front of him, about him, was depravedly delicious, but now it was Krupp’s turn and he wanted so badly it burned. He grabbed her arm with his free hand in an attempt to keep himself upright, but even with his knees spread wide against her carpet, it felt like at any second he could go crashing down.

He moaned when he felt her lips on the soft skin under his ear just before she whispered, “Lay down for me.”

Krupp was too far gone to be able to speak, but when she wrapped one tentacle around him, gently pushing his hand out of the way, the message was clear enough. Fumbling, he unfolded his legs, leaning back as she leaned forward and crawled to straddle him. It was impossible for him to breathe, looking up at her like that, his dick buried deep in a coil held fast between their hips. Edith bit her lip against her smile as she looked down at him, and he just about forgot to breathe.

“Can I try-?” she chuckled, looking away for a deep breath before turning back to pin  him with her stare, “Can I try something?”

It was when he was in the process of nodding dumbly that he realized his mouth was open. Embarrassed, he snapped his jaw shut, but the damage was done. Edith lost herself to a fit of giggles and soon enough he was laughing right along with her right up until the point she ground down hard against him. A startled yell all but snapped his throat as one hand flew to grip one of her thighs while the other clung to the carpet, stars bursting in his brain and clouding his vision with bright sparks. Somewhere in the haze he heard Edith give a satisfied snicker as she did it again.

And again.

And again.

She wrapped around him as she moved, tentacles reaching and coaxing and coiling. Her grip was too tight, skin feeling like it was scalding, but all the same, if she stopped, Krupp would have died. He was panting, open mouthed and moaning as he rutted into the hold she had on him. Edith leaned in, planting her arms on either side of his head as she kissed him. Hip to hip, chest to chest, lips to frantic lips, he burned against her. God, she was so warm, so warm, and as she moved to latch onto his throat once more he found there was no air to breath untouched by her, so hot and humid the space had become. He felt her begin work on another dark mark and his hand moved from her thigh to her neck, cradling her against him. The end was just around the corner. He was doing his best to last but he could already feel it coming. Tossing his head, he snapped his hips frantically, chasing the heat even as it burned him. He wanted- he wanted-

All too soon it was over, her name clenched in his gritted teeth as he spilled himself somewhere deep in the tangle of her.

Every bone in his body seemed to turn into mush after that. It was all he could do to hold onto her as she rolled off of him, soft laughter in his ear as she kissed him one last time.

“How was that?”

His reply was gibberish, face drooping in a lazy half smile, and he could feel her laugh more than he could hear it as she buried her head in the crook of his neck as she roped him in to hold him close.

“Ugh, you’re ridiculous.”

“Me?” he finally managed, “Me? I’m ridiculous?”

“Yes.”

“Who was the one groping me during the Charlie Brown Christmas-”

“Hey!”

“ _The Charlie Brown Christmas_ -”

“It was an accident!”

“Yeah right.”

He snickered as she smacked his chest lightly, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close as he mumbled, “Heathen, I think your carpet gave me a rug burn.”

“That’s your own fault. You couldn’t wait.”

“No, it’s your landlord's fault because this carpet is shit.”

“Too bad, I don’t feel like moving,” Edith mumbled as she kissed cheek.

Smiling, he turned his head and kissed her back, “Neither do I.”


End file.
